PAPER PRESENTATION 3

DURING THE 26^TH ANNIVERSERY OF THE BRIDE OF CHRIST MINISTRY, WORLDWIDE, HELD AT

THE CENTRE FOR ENVIRONMENTAL  MANAGEMENT AND CONTROL (CEMAC) HALL, UNIVERSITY OF NIGERIA, ENUGU CAMPUS (UNEC) ON  29^TH DECEMBER, 2018

PRESENTERS AND TOPICS DISCUSSED

SECTION ONE

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE

BY

APOSTLE KELECHI UWAKWE

(HOUSEHOLD OF GOD, ONITSHA)

08037389766

INTRODUCTION:

1.           Marriage and divorce has been one of the delicate issues that disturb mankind since the beginning of the human existence in the world. Today, cases of divorce abound everywhere and marriage has lost its real meaning, as well as value.

2.           “I have looked into marriage, examined it, and have decided to deliver this message on marriage because that is exactly the foundation of life and that was where the devil tampered with which is what is responsible for the misbehavior of our children today.” (Quotes from the family menu volume 2 page 1:1)

3.           Marriage is the foundation of life; without marriage there is no life, no family. Every human being came from a family and marriage is a product of the family. The devil tampered with the foundation and it resulted into the misbehaviours of human beings on earth. So, every evil in the world today has its root from marriage and divorce. There must be marriage before divorce, who instituted marriage?

4.           “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof, And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a help mate for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept and he took one of his ribs; and closed up the flesh. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:18-24 KJV)

5.           Now we have seen God as the one that instituted marriage. God did not have the intention that man will divorce his wife because man had not fallen away. The scripture said, “And God saw everything that he had made and behold it was very good, and the evening and the morning were the sixth day” (Gen. 1:31KJV)

6.           Marriage is very important to God that he want Marriage to be honoured everywhere.

1.           “Let marriage be held in honour (esteemed worthy, precious of great price and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept under honoured); For God will judge and punish the unchaste (all guilty of Sexual vice) and adulterous”. (HEB 13:4 AMP).

7.           This is how marriage should be before God who instituted it.

8.           Since marriage is a product of family then what does it take to be a family? Basically it takes the husband and the wife to form a family. Children are not included; children are part of the growth of the family.

1.           “And did not God make (you and your wife) one (flesh), did not God make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why (did God make you two) one? Because He sought a godly offspring (from your union, therefore take heed to yourselves and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth” (Malachi 2:15 AMP)

2.           Have you seen the plan of God in instituting marriage? It is to have godly children out of marriage.

3.           “At the early stage of the marriage when a man is married to a woman, their problems are limited to the problems of two persons, nobody ever remembers any problem of a child, for there is no child yet, it is within the period which the man is staying with his wife alone that blending of life starts. I call it “blending” because, it is a conjugation made up of two different personalities from different backgrounds, and different upbringing, now volunteering in love to come together and never to separate till eternity; volunteering to stay together to raise children that will be called their own. This is a mystery.

4.           Sometime the couple, may be from different nationalities, have different languages, cultures, and traditions yet come together to fuse, volunteering to love and cherish each another, to defend and protect one another’s interest; to be one inseparable couple, to raise a family by producing children that were not in existence before then, which would be called their own. Youths should take particular note of this please, understand one basic thing in marriage; that marriage could take you across the world. Some of our people married expatriates.

9.           Please understand this fact because your ignorance of it will lead to problems. Immediately you get married if you do not know the MEANING OF MARRIAGE; WHY IT IS ESTABLISHED, WHY A MAN AND A WOMAN OF DIFFERENT FAMILIES MUST COME TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR THE PURPOSE OF RAISING A FAMILY.

10.        If you do not know these things you cannot address marital problems when they start arising. (From the message, the family menu volume 2 page 4: 2-6).

CONDITIONS FOR MARRIAGE

There are conditions by which the man and the woman must meet before marriage is contracted, they includes:

LOVE

Real love, not carnal sensual devilish love that ends in sexual affairs that once it happen, the love will die down, faults finding will  begin to rear its head up from both parties, hatred will takes over. (The Compelling Factor In Marriage Must Be Love And No Other Thing).

11.        “Marriage is a contract of divine love and truth. There is nothing falsehood in marriage. If it must succeed both parties must be open to each other, cancelling nothing. The foundation you lay on your marriage will decide how long you are going to go on that marriage. If you lay a shaky foundation, an unstable foundation the marriage will collapse”. (From the Marriage and Divorce volume 2 page 103, 69-70.)

12.        The conditions that necessitated any marriage will determine the life span of the marriage. Many marriages today were contracted in error, without truth and without God. The consent of the woman must be obtained unconditionally without duress

13.        “But Rebecca’s brother and her mother said, “Let the girl stay with us a week or ten days, and then she may go”. But he said, don’t make us stay. The Lord has made my journey a success; let me go back to my master. They answered, let’s call the girl and find out what she has to say”, so they called Rebecca and asked, do you want to go with this man? Yes, “She answered. So they let Rebecca and her old family servant to go with Abraham’s servant and his men”. (Genesis 24:55-59 GNB).

14.        Rebecca’s consent was obtained before her parents without duress, she was asked “Do you want to go with this man, she answered yes I will go.” Whatever that induced either party to decide to live together as husband and wife, once that thing is exhausted the Marriage is finished, be it money, wealth, beauty, social status, influential position etc. Marriage should be seen as a life contract of Divine Love and truth and not mere social interaction between a man and a woman.

A MAN MUST BE AN INDEPENDENT MAN

15.        Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. (GENESIS 2:24 KJV)

16.        “If you notice that the man coming to you, volunteering to marry you is not yet an independent man, one who is still under the control and administration or tutorship of his parents, if you notice the man is wholly dependent on his parents, that his parents are still having control over him even to dictate to him the way he should live, manage his finance and such like things, it then means he is not yet an independent man; tell him to wait until he becomes a man. For a man to think of venturing into marriage he must come to a point where he will have his own say without consulting his parents.”  (From Marriage and Divorce volume 2: page 9:31-32)

17.        A man must come to a point he will have his own decision on how he will live his Life outside the control of his parents, he will have his house, fend for himself.

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DIVORCE AND ITS MEANING

he oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary of current English says that Divorce means “legal ending of a marriage, so that husband and wife are free to marry again, or put an end to a marriage by law.” This is the way man’s wisdom teaches it. Let us see how God said divorce should be carried out.

2.           “When a man, hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she finds no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanliness in her; then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. And if the latter husband hated her, and wrote her a bill of divorcement and giveth it in her hand and sendeth her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies which took her to be his wife (Deut 24:1-4, KJV), after that she is defiled for that is abomination before the Lord and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance “(DEUT 24:1-4 KJV)

3.           This is how divorce came into a existence, once a man find fault with his wife he should give her a written letter of divorcement and send her out of his house and Moses also permitted her to remarry to any man of her choice. On no account will the first husband marry her again even if the second husband divorces her or dies. If it happens it will be an abomination to the Lord God Almighty.

GOD HATES DIVORCE

4.           “Why God has abandoned us, you cry. I’ll tell you why? It is because the Lord has seen your wives, whom you have been divorcing; your wives who have been faithful to you through the years, the companions you promised to care for and keep. You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan when you married, the two of you become one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore guard your passions; keep faith with the wife of your youth. For the Lord, The God of Israel says he Hates divorce and cruel men, therefore control your passions, – let there be no divorcing of your wives”. (Malachi 2:14 LB). You see the reason why God permitted marriage, is to raise Godly children. You see the reason why I said the misbehaviours of our children started from messing up of the marriage?

5.           “God said I hate divorce” do not divorce the wife of your youth.

6.           “For if you do that (divorce the wife of your youth who has been faithful to you), it will be cruelty. Intentional divorcement is an act of cruelty on the side of the man, and on the side of the woman. A woman or man has no right to divorce his or her wife or husband who has been faithful to him or her all the years of their marriage. Maybe the man sees another woman, thought she is more beautiful than his wife or the woman sees someone that has more money than her husband then she just jumps out of the marriage to marry that man or woman when he or she is faithful, God said it is a cruel act, it is an act of violence, it is a rebellion, it is a witch craft. (Marriage and divorce volume 2 page 18: 39-40.)

DIVORCE CAUSES ADULTERY

7.           “It has also been said, whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce, but I tell you whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality,) and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. (MATT. 5:31-32 AMP)

8.           Divorcing your wife except on the grounds of unfaithfulness, you cause her to commit adultery and any man that marries her is also committing adultery.

9.           So no man is permitted to marry a woman that is divorced by her husband. No matter the reason you may have, once a woman is divorced by her husband, she has two options, one to stay alone, be single for life and worship God or be reconciled to her husband. But if for any reason she goes to a man to live as a wife, she is living in adultery, she is an adulteress because her first husband is alive. The two husbands are still alive. It is abomination in the sight of God.

10.        A man is free to divorce his wife and marry another, but a woman is not free. If a woman gets married to a man that divorce his wife, it is noble, it is just, it is legal. It is righteous, it is honourable in the sight of God, for the law of marriage and divorce holds the woman and not the man. The offence the man committed is that he divorces that woman unjustly and the woman goes out to marry another man, the man becomes guilty of causing the woman to commit adultery, remember that adultery is committed by two persons at a time, for one person can never commit adultery.

11.        “Certainly you will understand what I am about to say, my brothers, because all of you know about Law. The law rules over people only as long as they live. A married woman, for example, is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives, but if he dies, then, she is free from the law that bound her to him. So then, if she lives with another man while her husband is alive, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is legally a free woman and does not commit adultery if she marries another man”. Rom 7:1-3 GNB)

12.        Now if while her husband lives she gets married to another man, she shall be called adulteress. A man that married such a woman is an adulterer. The act of living together by the two of them is called Adultery.

13.        Any man who marries a woman that is already married, whose husband is still alive is committing adultery. He is an adulterer, the woman is an adulteress both of them are worthy of death. The only time the woman is free from the law of marriage is when her husband dies, she can get married to any man of her choice.

14.        Since I know that putting away my wife who is faithful to me will cause her to commit adultery, I will never do it because I love her.

15.        “And the person who keeps every law of God, but makes one little slip, is just as guilty as the person who has broken every law there is. For God who said you must not marry a woman who already has a husband, also said you must not murder, so even though you have not broken the marriage laws by committing adultery but have murdered someone, you have entirely broken God’s laws and stand, utterly guilty before him” (James 2:10-11 LB).

16.        Have you seen what living in adultery means? “For married people I have a command which is not my own but the lord’s; a wife must not leave her husband but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconcile to her husband, and a husband must not divorce his wife” (1 Cor. 7:10-11 GNB). Saint Paul said he was speaking under the command of the Lord, that a woman must not divorce her husband if she does it, she must stay single, have nothing to do with any man, if she cannot remain single, she should reconcile to her husband. He did not say that God said that the man should stay alone, single.

17.        Every reference there was made to the woman, the man was not involved, for the marriage law was not made for the man but for the woman from the very beginning. God had already ordained man to have multiple wives, that is why a woman has her seasons but a man has no season. Now since a woman knows that divorcing her husband will put her in danger of hell fire because there is no way she can stay alone, you cannot remarry to another man. For your first husband is still alive you will become an adulteress the best thing is to reconcile to your husband for that is God’s injunction for you.

18.        “Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him by asking, “Does our law allow a man to divorce his wife for whatever reason he wishes?” Jesus answered, haven’t you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the creator made people male and female. And God said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one, so they are no longer two but one Man must not separate then, what God has joined together”.

19.        The Pharisees asked him “why, then, did Moses give the law “for a man to send his wife a divorce notice and send her away?” Jesus answered “Moses gave you permission to divorce your wives because you are so hard to teach. But it was not like that at the time of creation. I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife, even though she has not been unfaithful, commits adultery if he marries some other woman”. (Matt. 19:3-9 GNB).

20.        The Lord Jesus Christ told them Moses permitted you to send your wife away by giving her a divorcing note because you are hard to teach. They found it difficult to obey God’s word.

CONDITIONS THAT DISQUALIFY ONE FROM MARRIAGE

21.        “Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him by asking” Does our law allow a man to divorce his wife for whatever reason he wishes? Jesus answered, “Haven’t you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the creator made people male and female? And God said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one, so they are no longer two but one. Man must not separate what God has joined together.

22.        The Pharisees asked him “why, then, did Moses give the law for a man to send his wife a divorce notice and send her away,” Jesus answered, “Moses gave you permission to divorce your wives because you are so hard to teach. But it was not like that at the time of creation.

23.        I tell you, then, that any man, who divorces his wife even though she has not been unfaithful, commits adultery if he marries some other woman. His disciples said to him, “If this is how it is between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry,” Jesus answered, “This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it.

24.        For there are different reasons why men cannot marry; some because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so”.

THREE CONDITIONS WHY YOU MUST AVOID MARRIAGE.

             i.                If you are born that way, that is as a man you were born” impotent, you cannot impregnate a woman, you are sure of that, thorough examination of your body, you are sure and certain that you cannot perform effectively; you are not qualified to marry a woman.

           ii.                If you are castrated due to sickness in life or accident, your testicles were removed or wicked men castrated you, that is human beings have made you a eunuch, you are not to marry, for the essence of marriage is to raise children, since you are not able to raise children, there is no need to think about marriage.

          iii.                If you are under a vow, you have vowed a vow to the Lord that you will not marry; it has a very big condition, and that condition is that you can never lie with a woman until you die, and any day you desire a woman in your heart you have broken that vow.

2

REFUSING TO MARRY IS AGAINST THE WILL OF GOD.

he (Holy) spirit distinctly and expressly declares that in latter times some will turn away from the faith, giving attention to deluding and seducing spirits and doctrines that demons teach.

2.           Through the hypocrisy and pretensions of lairs whose consciences are scared (cauterized) who forbid people to marry and (teach them) to abstain from (certain kinds of) foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and have (an increasingly clear) knowledge of the truth.

3.            For everything God has created is good, and nothing is to be thrown away or refused if it is received with thanksgiving. For, it is hollowed and consecrated by the word of God and by prayer. If you lay all these instructions before the brethren, you will be a worthy steward and a good minister of Christ Jesus, ever nourishing your own self on the truth of the faith and of the good (Christian) instruction which you have closely followed (1 TIM 4:1-6 AMP).

4.            This is why the doctrine of celibacy propagated by the Roman Catholic Church is of the devil, it comes from demon, seducing spirits, inspiring them to teach that their priests should not marry, their Reverend fathers are guilty for not marring yet they are sleeping with women here and there.

5.           Any man that refuses to marry when he is very healthy (1) is resisting the will of God that says “It is not good for a man to be alone” (2) He is resisting the will of God which says “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, (3) He will have trouble in his flesh; he will be burning everyday because he is a healthy man. A healthy man has no justification why he should not marry. Any healthy man that is of age and refuses to marry is a wicked man and it is an act of violence; you must get married. The same way, women have their own conditions.

AN UNMARRIED WOMAN IS A REPROACH

6.         “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name to take away our reproach”. (Isa4:1kjv)  

b.          So it is not easy for a man to marry a woman. When a man marries a wife, the man has taken away the reproach from that very woman;

7.         “I’m not saying you must marry, but you certainly may if you wish, I wish everyone could get along without marrying just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of a husband or wife, and others he gives the gift of being able to stay happily unmarried.

c.          So I say to those who aren’t married and to the widows – better to stay unmarried if you can, just as I am. But if you can’t control yourselves, go ahead and marry, It is better to marry than to burn with lust” (1 Cor. 7:6-9 LB).

8.         No matter the advice of Saint Paul to the unmarried, He still said it is BETTER, PROPER to marry than to stay unmarried.

HONOUR, LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND

9.         So again I say, a man must love his wife as a part of himself; and the wife must see to it that she deeply respects her husband, obeying, praising and honouring him”. (Eph 5:33 LB).

10.      Any woman her husband hates is already in her grave. If a tree can stand without the root, then know that a woman can stand without her husband; since it is impossible for a tree to stand without it’s root, so no woman can stand without her own husband.

11.      It is God’s injunction for a woman to see to it that she must deeply respect her husband obeying praising and honoring him. No husband supports a wife that dishonors him every day. As long as God lives, women should honour their husband so as to retain the love of their husbands. No man hates his wife at the beginning. No man really uses his own money to marry a wife that he does not love.

YOU CAN ONLY ENJOY THE WIFE GOD HAS GIVEN TO YOU.

12.        “Live happily with the woman you love through the fleeting days of life, for the wife God gives you is your best reward down here for all your earthly toil”. (Ecc. 9:9 LB)

13.        The scripture said you live happily, joyfully with the wife God has given to you” not that which any man or any backslidden pastors has given you. You can only enjoy the wife God has given to you. For any marriage union that is not divinely directed is manmade and can never be enjoyed. Any women you choose for yourself due to your selfish desire you will not enjoy her, even if you do, it is for a season because God did not give you that wife.

14.        God cannot give his son a wife that will cause you sorrow, pain and anguish by dishonouring and humiliating her husband’s words.

15.      “A father can give his sons homes and riches, but only the lord can give them understanding wives. (Prov. 19:4 LB)

TO THE WIDOW

A widow is a woman who has not married again after her husband’s death. “Now, to the unmarried and to the widows I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do. But if you cannot restrain your desires, go ahead and marry- It is better to marry than to burn with passion”. (1 Cor. 7:8-9 GNB).

16.      God permits a widow to marry, not to burn with lust.  ‘Do not add any widow to the list of widows unless she is over sixty years of age. In addition, she must have been married only once and have a reputation for good deeds, a woman who brought up her children well, received strangers in her home, performed humble duties for fellow Christians, helped people in trouble and devoted herself to doing good.

17.       But do not include younger widows in the list: because when their desires make them want to marry, they turn away from Christ and so become guilty of breaking their earlier promise to him. They also learn to waste their time in going round from house to house: but even worse, they learn to be gossips and busy bodies talking of things they should not. So I would prefer that the younger widows get married, have children, and take care of their homes, so as to give our enemies no chance of speaking evil of us.

18.      For some widows have already turned away to follow Satan. But if any Christian woman has widows in her family, she must take care of them and not put the burden on the church, so that it may take care of the widows who are all alone”. (1 Tim 5:9-16 GNB)

19.      The only widow that is a real widow in the sight of God is a woman that is above sixty years of age, others are younger widows.

20.      The Effect of Divorce on Families, Children and the society

TO THE CHILDREN

21.      The training of children is a joint responsibility of the parents, (husband and wife) that is when they are living together.

22.      “My son, keep the father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother”, (PROVERBS 6:20 KJV)

23.      Children obey your parents this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you, honour your father and mother this is the first of God’s Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise that if you honour your father and mother yours will be along life, full of blessing (Eph 6:1-3 LB)

24.      The children whose parents are divorced cannot obey their parents; they cannot enjoy the warmness of their parents. Nobody teaches them on how they should live. Remember that the first teacher to the children remains their mother. Children stay closer to their mother than their father, divorce creates division in them.

25.      This scripture cannot be effective in a divorced home. It leads the children to have poor parental upbringing both in conduct and character. The children born in such family will have wrong influence about life and marital issues. They become vulnerable to criminal tenderness, due to no joint training from the parents they join wrong groups and get corrupted, then, they will grow up in disappointment. Some of them become drop outs. The females like their mother cannot be a good wife. The boys will also follow the foot step of their fathers without thinking on them.

TO THE FAMILY

26.      The family must be divided; it also affects every family investment, conduct, order and togetherness. It creates bad family impression; the hearts of the children raised in that family is biased.

27.      It promotes useless air of independence which helps ungodly women to become uncontrollable. It encourages women liberation; the greatest number of prostitutes and adulteress are found among them. Their children become criminal are hoodlums and touts in the society.

TO THE SOCIETY

28.      It creates a wrong impression about marriage

29.      It encourages more divorce cases

30.      It encourages women liberation and stubbornness against the leadership of their husband

31.      It produces societal disorder and bias the minds about good family relationships.

32.      It encourages disrespect in homes and creates room for hatred, pride and arrogance among the victims and expectant divorces.

Thanks for listening

SECTION TWO

 WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A WIFE OF A MAN OF GOD

BY

SIS.  JOY NZUBECHI ODOEMENA

(HOUSEHOLD OF GOD ONITSHA)

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MARRIAGE

1.           Marriage is an intimate and complimentary union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically in the whole of life. From the scriptural view point of marriage, we will look at Genesis chapter 2:18 (LVB) and the Lord God said, “It is not good for a man to be alone, I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to her needs”.

2.           The woman was created as “a helper suitable” for the man. A wife is therefore a “helper” who complements her husband in every way. Complement in this perspective means something that fills up, completes or makes perfect. A wife of a man God should be one that completes him in every way.

3.           In the message-WHEN THE SPARKS FLY IN YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP PAGE 8:7-8, God asked a question-How many know by revelation that marital life is a ministry? How many see marriage –either man or woman as a ministry that must be fulfilled with joy? If it is not a ministry, you don’t mention anything “ship wreck” around it. Because marriage is a ministry, somebody is bound to make a ship wreck” of his marital ministry- man or woman. Some are likely to make full proof of their ministries.”

4.           A wife of a man of God must of a necessity see her position as a ministry which she must fulfill with joy by building a happy home. Proverbs chapter 14: 1 says that a wise woman builds her house while a foolish woman tears hers down by her own efforts. (LVB).

5.            Any woman married to a man of God must have personal revelation about this for I believe this is one of the prerequisites for a successful and happy marriage.

6.           In another message- EXAMINE YOUR FAMILY LIFE PAGE 38:7-8, God made us to understand that “the worst man you can think of marrying in life is a man of God, a preacher.

7.           At the same time, the best man you can go for as far as marriage is concerned is also a man of God, a preacher, if he is actually a man of God and not a self-made man of God or public acclaimed man of God. One that is ordained of God, it is not easy to marry him, but if you can understand him, you will discover in the end that he is the best”. Any woman married to a man of God is highly blessed and privileged because she is living with one who can change situations.

8.           This goes to prove that the wife of a man of God must be a woman of vision, wisdom and understanding.

9.            She must have the vision that when God calls a man, he also calls the wife and then gives him the necessary support and encouragement so that they both fulfill their ministries with joy and not make a shipwreck. She must also have the wisdom and understanding to see him beyond her husband and accord him due honour and respect. With this revelation, she will help her husband not to fail, for ‘Nothing damages the reputation of a man more than shipwreck in his marital ministry. The same thing applies to a woman.

10.        Any wife that recognizes her husband’s position and sincerely honours and respects him wins his heart and must of course, enjoy her marriage to the fullest. This is true because, when a wife respects her husband that automatically motivates his love.

11.        This is expected to be the true nature of a woman married to a man of God. It is lack of this godly truth that causes many to make shipwreck of their marriages.

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QUALITIES OF A VIRTOUS WIFE

lmighty God has blessed a woman with feminine abilities which she can use for great good in her husband’s life in many ways. This has to do with the possession of certain qualities and traits that will not only make her strong but also flexible to handle diverse issues as they arise and help her to make a success of her calling as a wife of a man of God. We are going to look into few of these qualities.

SUBMISSION

Whenever the word ‘submission is mentioned, some women immediately becomes angry and even hostile. Some wives misunderstand submission by thinking that it makes women inferior to men in some ways some think that if they submit to their husbands they lose their identity and become non-persons. Others fear that submission leads to being used or abused. Let us see what God has in mind for us. Colossians 3:18. You wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, for that is what the Lord has planned for you (LVB).

2.           Ephesians 5:22-24- You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord for the husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its saviour). So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything just as the church obeys Christ.

3.           These scriptures made it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s leadership. Therefore as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him and at   the same time helping him to become the husband, the king and the leader Almighty God intended him to be.

4.           In the message FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 PAGE 17:1-2, God made us to understand that “there is wisdom in submission, in showing subordination to existing arrangements whether humanly or divinely made. Whatever apparent appeal it might have, total independence is undesirable and unrealistic”

5.           Every true daughter of God must believe this to be true from every angle. Submission remains the bedrock of a peaceful and harmonious marriage. Every wife, especially a wife of a man of God should believe this truth from the bottom of her heart and not be persuaded into believing for here lies her joy, peace, blessings, victory etc in marriage.

6.           She must totally accept her husband’s superiority over her irrespective of her class or position. Submission entails a wives readiness to willingly, lovingly and totally submit to her husband. No woman wins the heart of her husband more than a submissive wife; she has the key to his heart in her hands. Being submissive my fellow wives does not mean slavery or makes you a fool, it rather shows that you are wise, godly, that you respect your husband and you are ready to be guided and protected which is one of the roles of a husband.

7.            A wife that respects her husband is a wife that is dearly loved. It is a tested and proven cause and effect. A wife that does not respect her husband must find it difficult to summit to him. Any wife who fails to submit to her husband cannot win his heart and can never be guided and protected by him. Remember, a husband remains a ‘shield’- ‘protective jacket’ (Ochendo) to his wife. If you walk out from under that covering by not submitting, you are the one that will automatically get wet.

8.           Additionally, in the message- FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 PAGE 60:21, God stated that ‘Peace is subject to total obedience to a superior authority. Any woman that wants to live in peace in her marital home must of necessity concede and acknowledge her husband’s superiority over her at all times and in all matters.

9.            It takes a woman that desires peace to submit to her husband and the benefits I tell you is very much rewarding.  It is only when a woman surrenders her life to her husband, reveres and worships him and is willing to serve him that she becomes really beautiful to him. She becomes a priceless JEWEL, the glory of feminism, his QUEEN.

10.         My fellow wives, our beauty is not just our physical appearance, a woman is loved and admired by her husband because of her inner qualities- a gentle and quiet spirit/ heart which is in the sight of God a great price. 1^st Peter 3:3-4- “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry or beautiful clothes or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God’ (LVB). This should be the aspiration of every woman married to a man of God. 

HUMILITY: This is another quality that should be evidently seen in the wife of a man of God. As women, we are created to be a ‘helper’ to our husbands. Being a helper requires humility and a gentle spirit. Marriage is one of the most important relationships to remain humble in, for if we fail to be humble, pride will definitely destroy it. Cases abound of so many marriages that broke up as a result of lack of humility on the part of the woman.

11.      Humility helps you to accept your strengths and weaknesses. It helps a wife to recognize the headship of her husband that makes submission easy. Without humility, it is very difficult for a wife to admit failure and need to change, which can make conflict management difficult.

12.      Humility is a yielding door to understanding, insights and wisdom. It is a humble view of one’s own importance; it is a quality of being humble that comes from a lack of pride. It takes a more humble, modest, respectful, mature wife to admit her mistakes and apologize to her husband. This in turn helps to foster good and peaceful marital relationship.

13.       Sisters, humility just like submission remains one of the greatest weapons to win the heart of our husbands and enjoy so many goodies from them, when you allow humility in, you open the door for love to flow.  An Igbo adage has it “that when the kid goat kneels down, he sucks the mother’s breast”.

14.       So it applies to a wife in marriage. Honesty comes by way of humility and humility by way of maturity humility is nothing but truth and pride is nothing but lying.  (James 4:6) but he giveth more grace wherefore God resisteth the proud but giveth grace to the humble” (KJV).

15.      In the BRIAL COMPENDIUM PAGE 304 Paragraph 3 God made us to understand that “Any wife that disposes herself in the form of saying “Amen” and  “oh yes” to the husband has an easy ride. (it takes humility to do this) she does not experience any difficulty in life. Any woman that is found in obedience to the husband, takes all that the husband possesses.

16.      The husband can even go borrowing to make sure he satisfies the needs of that humble, meek, obedient and loving wife”. Unarguably believing this to be true, every wife of a man of God is expected to be humble and remain humble to her husband so as to keep the flame of love and blessing from her husband burning.

SUPPORTIVE ROLE: A wife of a man of God must be one that will always play a supportive role in his ministry and life. The husband is the head of the home and the wife is the neck.

17.        The neck support the head and helps the head to fulfill its duties.  Remember, when God calls a man he calls his wife too. An adage also has it that ‘Behind every successful man, there is an intelligent woman’ a supportive wife). A true daughter of God married to a man of God should have personal revelation that she is called to assist her husband in the fulfillment of his purpose and then give him the necessary support.

18.         The role of a wife is so crucial that she can either make or break a family. She gives her husband the strength to succeed, she nurtures her children to stay healthy and do well in life and she has the ability to take care of every minute detail of the home.

19.        The support must be physically, spiritually, psychologically, emotionally and other wise. She must know that the failure of her husband is also her failure likewise his success. She must appreciate her husband’s responsibilities towards the flock of God and not to constitute a clog on the wheel of progress.

20.        In the message EXAMINE YOUR FAMILY LIFE  PAGE 128:39, it says ‘a very intelligent and understanding wife is one that plays supportive role, one that esteems her family above her personal considerations; one that passes sleepless nights because of the welfare of her family.” In other words, she must be hard-working and always put the welfare of her family as her major goal.

21.        A Godly and intelligent woman add flavor to a man’s life,  for instance if a man is raw beans and palm oil his wife is the pepper,  onions, crayfish and even the mph that makes the beans sweet. In other words, she completes her husband. A wife of a man of god is expected to be her husband’s manager, confidant, chief executive, wife, sister, sweet heart, best friend etc.

22.        She is expected to be strong spiritually, being fierce in prayers, warring on her knees for her husband and children. A godly wife can change any situation in her family through prayers than complaining, sisters never underestimate the power and importance of prayers, if you have not tried it, begin today. 

23.         We need to be in the spirit of prayers at all times so that prayers become part of our relationship with God rather than a ritual.  Playing a supportive role therefore involves, praying for your husband, encouraging him, attending to his needs, doing everything to make him happy so that he will be emotionally stable to fulfill his ministry with joy.

24.          If you are doing what you are meant to do, your husband will have no choice but to respect and cherish you (he will know your worth). You will be a constant fulfillment of.

25.        (Proverbs 31:10-12) ‘if you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gem! Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him but help him all her life” (LVB). A wife of a man of God should therefore know at all times that a great part of her duty is to support her husband for the achievement of God’s purpose in his life especially as it concerns his ministry.

A  GOOD HOME KEEPER: It is necessary to know also that a wife of a man of God must be a good home keeper. The society is bad because most families are bad. The reason why many have become so confused and anxiety –filled is that we have lost our focus on the worth and value God places on the home. When we as women take our role seriously and return our focus to the home, the society will improve.

25.        The home of a wife of a man of God as well as every wife should be her priority. She must be willing to make a lot of sacrifices for her family. She must know how to keep the home neat and also prepare nutritious and delicious food for the well being of her husband and children. An axiom has it that “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach”, any woman married to a man of God must be a good and a great cook.

26.        Any woman that knows how to cook very well earns the love and admiration of her husband and children.

27.        During the course of my post graduate programme in Education, a lecturer was talking to us on some family issues and she said “a man needs three things from his wife – to be well-fed, well-loved in the sexual sense and well-appreciated.

28.        ” One woman immediately asked, “and what do I get out of it”. The answer she got was “you will be well- loved; well- cared and well satisfied.” I strongly believe this to be true. Every good wife should fulfill these needs of her husband. BE A TOTAL WOMAN! My fellow sisters and friends, we do ourselves good to humble and learn new ways of preparing delicious and healthy meals for our families and keep on introducing new ones.

29.        Do not be shy or proud to learn from others and do not stick to your old traditional method. Never allow yourself to be ego-drowned, remember we learn every day, for learning continues from cradle to the grave,  so aim to get new ideas and improve on your standard. This will not only earn you the love and admiration of your husband and children but also promote their overall health.

30.        A wife of a man of God must also ensure that there is orderliness in the home for every man appreciates order and will be especially glad to find it in his own home. Orderliness of the home involves training of the children; it is a mother who through the example of yielding to God and to the head of her family- the husband that teaches the children spirit of submission to God and authority.

31.         If a mother is rebellious and stubborn, her children will follow her example to their ruin. A wife of a man of God must therefore be a true mother by being living testament, consistent example of the type of person they would like their children to become. She is expected to groom her children spiritually, emotionally, physically and otherwise. If you will not take the trouble to train your child when he/she is a little boy, or girl he will give you a great deal of more trouble when he is a big one.

32.        Let us see what the word of God says concerning the training of our children- Proverbs 22:6- ‘Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old will not depart from it, (KJV)  Mothers we should  treasure this principle, apply it and hold to it. The training of children is to a greater extent the responsibility of a mother, why because; the mother is closest to the children more than the father.

33.         We all are aware of this fact. God made us to understand that any woman that refuses or neglects the training of her children will reap the whirlwinds. This should be a constant reminder to a wife of a man of God and therefore energize her to devote more time in the training of her children she should assume it as her responsibility and not in any way shift if to her husband.

34.        Remember, Martin Luther once said ‘All  I am  today, I owe to my Angel mother” it should be the vision of every wife of a man of God, to help raise godly children that will  serve God and be a positive influence to this wicked generation. It takes great time, effort, prayers and labour but the joy and blessings that accompanies it is very much rewarding.

35.        She must also know how to take care of herself so as to keep looking attractive to her husbanded. The result is that your husband will be pleased with you, your accomplishments and sense of well being. When you as a wife is organized and efficient, your husbands flame of love will continue to burn.

A LOVER OF PEACE 

The impact and influence of the woman in building a happy home cannot be over emphasized. It is very clear that the woman plays a significant role in building a happy home. To be build a happy also means that the wife of a man of God must be peaceful; she must be a lover of peace. She sets the atmosphere in the home, for this reason, she must know the value of peace and pursue it at all cost.

36.        The atmosphere in her home should reflect peace and well being, this is important because your home reflects who you are as a wife. In the message FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 (UNABRIDGED) PAGE ix a block word reads “To be godly is to be obedient. To be obedient is to be peaceful. To be peaceful is to be successful and that leads to longevity!”  This proves that peace is associated with success and longevity. I sincerely believe this to be true. It takes a woman that knows and appreciates the value of peace to always aim at maintaining a peaceful relationship with her husband but one that lacks this understanding will always frustrate her husband by her behaviours.

37.        A wife of a man of God must be one that knows the value of peaceful co-existence. No sacrifice is too much to ensure that peace is achieved in the home, not temporary peace but lasting and enduring peace that will be contagious. Whatever that will polarize peace in the home should be a woman’s greatest enemy.

38.        Every marriage has its problem from time to time; there is no perfect marriage, perfect wife or husband. I am not perfect, I have my own weaknesses. Problems are normal and no marriage is immune. The variable however lies in how you cope or fail to cope with disagreements when they arise.

39.         Sister, if you follow up every word or action that comes up in your marriage, you will be in for a bad married life. You can defer your anger, grudges, and complains etc by replacing it with understanding. Wives, we should come to the realization that we are the number one beneficiaries of peace in the home; it saves you from emotional stress which can lead to untimely death. Many health experts confirm that emotional struggle and pressure are the chief cause of many diseases that befall a lot of women. If not brought under control, emotional struggle will greatly increase the stress in a woman’s life. The major cause of stress in a woman’s’ life is lack of peace in the home, hence the need for us to pursue this peace at all cost. Psalm 34:14 ‘Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. (KJV)

40.        Sister, if the trouble in your home is your pride, if it is your salary/money,   your social standing, inherited habit from your parents, over protection of self ego, whatever it may be, please, please surrender it. If we really love our lives and wish to live a healthy life, achieve success and finally partake of eternal life, I tell you, they are all worth surrendering. Be willing to compromise and see compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage.

41.        Nothing compares to a peaceful home, the price of family stability and happiness is not a cheap one but it all worth it. As a wife of a man of God, be ready to pay these prices and the world will be looking for the secret of your success, you enjoy peace of mind, and the success and longevity that accompanies peace will be your portion. Above all, you will become victorious in your marital life and equally help your husband to fulfill his ministry with joy.

SECTION THREE

THE ROLE OF PARENTS IN CHARACTER FORMATION

OF THEIR CHILDREN

BY

PASTOR CHIZOBA UDOCHUKWU

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Abraham Lincoln

INTRODUCTION

1.           There is scarcely any facet of human life that does not encompass components. By components, I mean systematic apparatuses and networks that when cohesive are capable of forming a substantial whole. What we refer to as a human being today is nothing but the systematic collection of biological organs and parts. When one is born with those parts intact, we conclude that a human being is born.

2.           However, the growth and development of such an individual, to the largest extent, determine what to tag the individual using the appropriate qualifiers such as sane, insane, capable, intelligent, foolish, reasonable, wicked, humane, selfish, reliable, unfaithful, name them.

3.           There are too many components that make a human being as captured above, but character is what defines an individual. Character as the major component has captured our attention in this discus. Though there are too many means by which character is formed in human beings, this discussion shall be narrowed to the role parents play in character formation of their children.

DEFINITION OF TERMS

PARENT

4.           The 9^th Edition of Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary conceptualized ‘parent’ as “a person’s father or mother”. By implication, therefore, the man and the woman that come together to produce offspring are regarded as parents.

5.           According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a parent is a person who brings up and cares for another. In other words, parenthood is not restricted to natal progeny. That is to say, being a parent does not necessarily mean that you biologically passed your genetics to a child.  When one brings up and cares for another person’s child, he / she becomes a parent to such a child. 

6.           A parent can take on different forms, such as stepparent, grandparent, legal guardian (in loco parantis) or a combination.

CHARACTER

7.           (A man is known by his actions. An evil man lives an evil life; a godly man lives a godly life Prov. 21:8 LB)

8.           Webster Dictionary views character as one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual. This shows that character is the particular combination of qualities in people that makes them different from others.

9.           Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people. Dennis Prager

5

ROLES OF PARENTS

1.           Regardless of the form parenting takes, the following remains constant: A parent’s job is to raise children to be the best men and women that they can be. It’s a huge responsibility, one that requires patience, love, and understanding.

2.           Being a parent means but not restricted to the following:

You take care of your child.

3.           Physically and emotionally, you are your child’s caretaker. You often put your child’s needs before your own.

You are a provider.

4.           You see to it that there’s food on the table for your child. It is at this level that most parents stop. They make it a point of duty to ensure that their children/wards lack nothing physically and end it there. They end up pursuing the wind at the expense of their families after which they will blame nature. Some will say, is there anything you need, which I don’t provide for you? Do you lack anything? Yes! He/she lacks many things.

5.           A child was given an assignment in his school to write on What I wish to be. Here is the little boy’s submission:

6.           My father has a very big and nice android phone which he doesn’t joke with. Whenever he comes back from work, he either plays game or chats with friends or discuses business with partners using the handset. When his handset rings, he picks it without hesitating and uses a nice tone, which he hardly uses while discussing with me.

7.           When I come near him with my school work, he shoves and shuns me as all his attentions are given to what he is doing in that handset. He gives me no attention even when I am complaining about something but he gives his handset all the desired attentions.

8.           I wish I will become an android phone so that my father will love me, care for me, play with me and listen to me.

9.           If you were the parent of this kid, what will be your reaction? The parents are very nice but if they should continue that way, won’t the child seek those things he lacks elsewhere?

10.        Parents have not provided for the children until they have made their home to be the best for the children (spiritually and physically) to the extent that they will find it difficult spending days outside their homes.

You are a protector.

11.        You try your best to keep your child safe. It is usually said that the crime a hen commits during the dry season demands her chicks during the rainy season. You have not offered your children protection until you have fully shielded them from the societal vices by creating enmity in their hearts against them through your actions.

You love your child.

12.        The love that a parent has for his or her child should be incomparable. Look at what I mean: “The greatest favour and love a man can show his children as a father, is to love their mother. Once a man hates his wife, he looks for a way to use his children against their mother. The same also is true for the woman. When a woman hates her husband, she must look for a way to win the children to use them against their father”. The family Menu Vol. 2 (2006 pp. 62:3-4). The above cited sentences from The Son of Man’s message have concluded the issue of loving your children. Some parents make the sad mistake of transferring the love they have for their spouses to their children once they start coming. By so doing, you are indirectly teaching your children how to hate and they must manifest hatred someday even on you the tutor.

You are a counselor and a confidant.

13.        Many parents make it very difficult for their children to confide in them by using the information such children give them against the children. Since your child has not gone the way of life before, he/she is solely relying on you for direction. When you turn hostile, or marginalize them with the confessions made before you, you are closing the avenue for more information or even consulting you when they want to act. Because you have your child’s best interests at heart, you are in a good position to give sound advice. Encourage your child to reach for the stars. Don’t give him or her the impression that the mistake he/she made has become the end of his/her life, hope or career. Maturely dissuade the child from repeating a similar misstate and give him/her hope for a brighter tomorrow.

You are a teacher.

14.        Whether teaching a child how to walk, or the difference between right and wrong, or how to conduct oneself in social settings, and everything in between, a parent’s job as teacher is never done. It is a continuous process until the child has become old enough to drive his/her life.

You are a role model.

15.        Children imitate their parent’s behavior. Your child’s little eyes are always watching you. While teaching her children, a mother told them the repercussion of answering back to their parents and elders. One day, the mother’s temper arose while discussing with her husband and she started ranting at her husband. One of the children went to her mother and said, mummy, you told us not to answer back, why are you answering back to daddy? You can go ahead and give the child a due reply. This is how many parents nullify their instructions because they think that teaching is oral-based only. So, as a parent, you do your best to lead by example.

Children’s character formation and parental influence

16.        There is no theme of deliberation with a universal response. For every topic, different people must expressly come up with different views, notions and ideas; more so, when there is an exception for every circumstance. There must be schools of thought trying to differ from what hitherto has been expressed by the former group. This topic under consideration is also a victim of this scenario.

17.        While some believe that bad parenting produces bad children, others vehemently and stoutly disagree. Some people are of the opinion that children turning out to be bad should be blamed on nature, others insist the blame should be on nurture, hence the nature-nurture crisis. For example, Mick’s Theorem of Parenting states that “You can’t always get the child you want”. According to the theory, most parents, in fact, don’t get exactly the child they want. They get a close approximation at best. Furthermore, parents who try to make the child they got into the child they want usually end up very, very frustrated, angry even. John Rosemond (10/17/2015).

18.        John Rosemond is not alone in this idea as Doreen Umutesi (11/07/2013) maintained that “There have been scenarios where some children have turned out to be so bad compared to their siblings yet they share parents. In such scenarios it would be extremely wrong to blame ‘nurture’ when one child turns out to be bad. I’m not trying to say that children are born bad or evil, but somehow along the way nature takes its course, thus what seemed to be good and innocent, becomes rowdy, violent and a disgrace to society”. 

Bad Parent, bad children

19.        In disagreement with the above theory, Dr. Susan Bartell (July 12, 2010) has this to say:

20.        “Sorry I don’t buy this! After more than twenty years of working with children, teens and parents it is clear to me that parenting plays a role of paramount importance in the way kids turn out.

21.        “Of course there are both nature and nurture components. And there are certainly legitimately ‘bad seeds’ of the sociopathic kind or psychiatrically ill individuals who need extensive help.

22.        “However, ‘bad’ parenting can be defined in ways that a parent may not recognize in him or herself (so won’t report it). For example, birth order affects parenting–you may raise two kids differently because of their birth order, which could explain why one turns out to be a nicer person than the other.

23.        “Emotional or material overindulgence may have a significantly negative impact on a child, without a parent feeling like he or she is being a ‘bad’ parent. In fact, quite the opposite–a parent might feel like they are giving a child everything, when in fact they are raising a child who will eventually become an adult with no frustration tolerance, little appreciation, no work ethic, difficulty being independent and with expectations that no-one can fulfill–a mean, disgruntled and dissatisfied adult.

24.        “Bad parenting can take many forms, that to the parent engaging in it looks and feels like good parenting, until their child is an adult. Then, the evidence is suddenly unmistakable”.

25.        What Dr Susan is saying in essence is that some parents are bad but they don’t know they are bad. Intrinsically, parents may not have bad record of criminal action or its likes, but have no time for family excitement due to overwork caused by covetousness and societal pressure. Actually, it is godly to be industrious, but when industry takes the place of family chemistry, it results to raising antisocial and mean children.

26.        In teaching and learning process, it has been established that children learn practical more rapidly than theory. Though I concur with the scriptural charge that enjoins us to “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older he will remain upon it” (Prov. 22:6 LB), however, I still believe that it must be done via exemplary life. Jesus explicated this by telling us that “The son can do nothing by himself.

27.         He does only what he sees the father doing (Jn 5:19 LB). An Igbo axiom concomitantly has it that a kid goat carefully watches the mother while she chews the cord with the intent to learn.

28.        In other words, a child manifests what he/she sees the parents do. On the contrary, before a child starts seeking counsel, advice, succor, joy, etc outside home, those things must have lacked within. It will take a child who has lost confidence in his/her parents to turn sideways for emotional, psychological, financial and spiritual backing. A child that has had a better dish cannot askew on sighting a less dish, though some people are gluttonous by nature.

29.        When the parents are constantly wearing mean faces at home, the effect is that children raised in that family will view smile as a taboo. I mean, they will think that those smiling are unserious. They can hardly mix up with people because people keep on avoiding them since the face stands as the mirror of our heart.

30.        It is on this premise that Apostle Peter Odoemena (the Son of Man) in his publication – The Year of Judgment of the Bride Vol. 3, (7/1/18 pp 18:6-8) maintains thus, “A man that is living in conflict with the wife is laying a bad foundation for the children, a destructive foundation which if they will grow thereby; they will become unprofitable to the society, unprofitable to God.

31.        “Remember, whatever is your life pattern in your home is stored in your home bank account. Bank does not mean a place that you store money. Bank is a place you can store everything storable, including information.

32.        “If your children will grow tomorrow under this chaotic environment, quarrelsome family and they begin to manifest these traits they inherited from parents, what will the future hold for them?”

33.        On the contrary, apart from children’s learning from their parents via observation, genetic material equally has a lot to contribute to their behaviors. 

34.        Concurring to this, the Son of Man in another message – Examine Your Family Life (pp 51:12-15) –maintains: “Thus, there are some whose parents are wicked by nature, especially their mother or their father. If you come from a family, that goes to show that you have a father and you have a mother also. Whether they are alive or not, that is not my business, you either resemble your father or mother. You must resemble somebody in your linage. That is what I am trying to say.

35.        “trace the character you are manifesting back to your family and you will find out the person that manifested it. The living today will tell you that there was one that appeared whom you are behaving like.

36.        “If your father was the one that never saw eye to eye with your mother, your father was a jester and later turned his jesting into wickedness by abandoning his responsibilities, whether you like it or not, you must inherit it”

Conclusion

37.        “Once you run a peaceful home, you MUST raise peaceful children because nothing influences the children more than the atmosphere prevalent in the home.” – The Son of Man (Random Comments Vol. 3 60:24 27/3/11). 

38.        Parents are teachers and Every individual passes through the tutorship of the parent. However, exemplary life is a prerequisite for success to be recorded.

39.        According to A. P. J. Abdul Kalam “Teaching is a very noble profession that shapes the character, caliber, and future of an individual. If the people remember me as a good teacher, that will be the biggest honour for me”.

40.        If parents can be remembered as good teachers through the character of their children, it is the biggest honour because in the words of Bruce Lee, “Knowledge will give you power, but character respect”.

41.        Thanks for listening.

SECTION  FOUR

ROLE OF WOMEN IN NATION BUILDING IN NIGERIA

BY

PROFESSOR NNEKA A. UMEZULIKE

INTRODUCTION

lobally, women generally play important roles towards nation building process. Development of any nation could hardly be attainable without participation of women. This is because, women form about more than half of the world population. In Nigeria, women constitute nearly half of the nation’s population (Federal Republic of Nigeria, 2008).

2.         Historically in every nation, extra-ordinary women have contributed immensely to making their society great. These women have left enduring legacies of social economic and political development of their nations. Realistically, despite various efforts and concerns shown by local and international human rights groups, women lagged behind in all aspects of life.

3.          Literature has shown that modern Nigerian women are on the lowest rung of poverty conditions. The gap between women and men in terms of education, higher paid job opportunities, political participation is too wide. Literatures also show that politics and tradition are used as instrument of women oppression in Nigeria despite their great contributions to nation building.

4.         There is great connectivity between women and improvement in human population. In this vain, Apostle Peter Odoemena The Son of Man affirmed that if a woman is born a nation is born, if you train a woman, that means you have trained a nation. The first teacher and care giver for the development of human race will ever remain in the hands of women.

5.         The researcher tried to flash back on overview of women contributions, nationally and internationally, roles of women in nation building, factors inhibiting full participation of women in nation building and strategies to be adopted to ensure full participation of women in nation building are actualized.

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OVERVIEW OF WOMEN CONTRIBUTIONS NATIONALLY AND INTERNATIONALLY

1.         Nature has made women mothers, sisters, daughters, wives. Women play important and significant roles in nation building, among these women were Dolores Huerta of United States of America, Florence Nightingale of Britain, Malala Yousafzai of Pakistan, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti the Aba Women Activists of Nigeria.  Dolores Huerta was a labour right activist and was famous for coining the phrase, “si se puede” (Yes, we can”).

2.          Her labour activism began with farm workers in Stockton, California, where she led the Agricultural Association before co-founding the national farm workers Association, which was renamed united farm worker in 1966. Huerta fought for voting rights, high wages, and better working conditions for low-income workers (globalcitizen.org).

3.         Florence Nightingale, also called the “Lady with the lamp”, was a pioneer in the field of nursing. She had a massive impact on 19^th and 20^th Century policies which was entrenched on proper care. Her writings inspired worldwide healthcare reform.

4.         She and her team of nurses drastically improved the unsanitary conditions of a British base hospital during the Crimean war, sparing countless lives (medium.com). When she was still a young girl, Malala stood up against the Taliban in Pakistan, insisting that girls be allowed to receive education. In 2012, she survived a shot on her head by a Taliban gunman and went on to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for her human rights advocacy work (medium.com).

5.         Funmilayo Ronsome-Kuti was a women’s right activist and a teacher. She fought for the right for Nigerian women to vote. She led a protest against the Alake of Egba land and his abuse of his authority. Eventually, enough pressure was exerted by the women led by Kuti to force the Alake to abdicate his throne.

6.         The Aba Women Activists also known as the Women’s war in November, 1929 is one that will never be forgotten in the fight for women’s participation in governance. Thousands of the present South-East women marched in protest of warrant Chiefs who limited their role in politics. The women demonstrated great resistance to oppressive colonial administration and policies that almost crippled the political and socio-economic activities of women; the mobilizers and drivers of any nation’s national developments and initiators of nation building.

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POLITICAL, EDUATIONAL AND SOCIO-ECONOMIC ROLES OF WOMEN IN NATION BUILDING.

1.           Nation building is a concept that gained prominence in the late 1960s and 1970s. Nations are important part of modern society. Nations are consciously built by exemplary men and women with vision and proven integrity and sustained by institutions that promote good governance.

2.          Nation building is about building a common sense of purpose, a sense of shared destiny, a collective imagination of belonging (Gambari 2018). Nation building is the change in the attributes belonging to particular nation or a total increase in the quality and status of life of the people in a nation.

3.         Women have rendered significant services to the nation in the area of education, socio-economic and political development. The governments of Nigeria is seemly committed to building a nation devoid of gender discrimination, guaranteeing equal access to political, social and economic wealth creation opportunities for women and men, and developing a culture that places premium on the protection of all including children (Federal Republic of Nigeria, 2006).

4.          This position gives full legal backing for women to participate actively in nation building. A society that shows greater concern for the rights of the weaker strata of its society will be less likely to encourage violence, while economic and social development are strongly elevated when women enter the market place (Rand, 2008). These weaker strata have greater population and are likely to make greater contributions to political, educational and socio-economic needs of their society. Women are wives, mothers, home makers and community builders (Aliwa, 2016).

5.         They are traditional and natural trainers of children before their school going age. Women offer selfless services to the family and community. Many women have proved themselves in a dynamic, vibrant, honest and proven form in many worlds. Women like Indira, Gandi of India, Margret Thatcher of Britain, Margret Ekpo and Dora Akunyili of Nigeria proved that they can move the world forward. These women along with their fate, shaped the destiny of their country in such an efficient way that the whole society was proud of them.

6.         Fast read (2015) noted that today’s educated and modern women have shed their fear to show the world how equipped they were to compete in personal and professional fields. They are successful as well as both professionals, academics and bureaucrats and politicians. In fact, women are the building blocks in nation building.

7.         In spite of the patriarchal nature of the pre-colonial Nigerian Society, it is pertinent to point out that few Nigerian women succeeded in achieving great political feats and became politically relevant in their societies. This was achieved through gallantry and uncommon bravery on the part of such women.

8.         Famous women who became political legends in pre-colonial Nigerian history included the legendary Queen Amina of Zaria who personally led series of expansionist wars in the 14^th century and conquered many states and kingdoms in Northern Nigeria. Iyalode Efunsetan Aniwura of Ibadan, a rich merchant woman, who became a political force in the Ibadan Military Society of 19^th Century.

9.         Mrs. Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, a social crusader and a political icon who established the Abeokuta Women Union in 1948. She was a leading member of the National Council of Nigerian and Camerouns (NCNC) (which was Nigerian political party from 1944 to1966, during the period leading up to independence and immediately following independence) and she was behind the 1948 Egba women riots against colonial women taxation.

10.      She also had a face-off with Oba Ademola, the Alake of Egba land forcing him to go on exile. She became so popular in Nigeria politics that the mention of her name scared the colonial officials. She was also on the NCNC delegation to the London Conference in 1948. Others were Margret Ekpo, Mrs Janet Mokelu who was both elected into the Eastern Nigeria House of Chiefs.

11.      These political contributions towards nation building from few of Nigerian women created education relevance awareness and sees education of women as the basic foundation for nation building. There seems to be declaring faith in the usefulness of education of women as pointed out in such commonly accepted beliefs as “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world”. Educate a man you educated an individual, but educate a woman and you educate a nation”. “No nation can rise above its womanhood” In agreement with these philosophical principles, Federal Ministry of Women Affairs (2000) emphatically states:

12.      That Women’s educational status in any nation correlates with its level of development. Consequently, the higher the level of women’s educational status, the more developed the nation. Women education is regarded as being most cost effective, with multiplier effects and benefits in nearly all aspects of life, at the family, community and national levels.

13.      It is true that women have endeavoured to overcome discrimination against them through education. It is a common feature in Nigeria to see women in very highly placed positions. Some are medical doctors, pharmacists, architects, University dons of all ranks including professors, bankers, media women and even business tycoons. Nigerian women have indeed ventured into male dominated professions which include aviation, armed forces and so on. In fact, women are seen in all walks of life.

14.       Access to education has gone a long way in making Nigerian women realize their potentials and have subsequently used their positions to contribute greatly to nation building even when their lives are on the line. A case at hand was Dr. Stella Ameyo Adadevoh, a great Nigerian physician who sacrificed herself to prevent the spread of Ebola in Nigeria in 2014.

15.      The social economic contributions of women to nation building cannot be over mphasized. Women are the power house of creativity, social and economic development. Women play important role in agricultural production for sustenance. In many societies, they take a heavy share of the agricultural work which is foundation of socio-economic activities. Their input of labour may infact be greater than that of men. Obviously, the need for female labour will increase as the need for more food increases, (MAMSER, 287).

16.      This assertion is an indication that women are the engine of socio-economic development of nations. Women are responsible for carrying out 70% of agricultural labour, 50% of animal husbandry related activities and 60% of food processing activities. Despite the integral roles women play in agricultural sector, their contributions are not valued or recognized nor are they reflected in the National accounting systems or given prime considerations in agricultural policy process. 

17.      Consequently, the issues and concerns of Women employed in the agricultural sector have been largely overlooked in programmes dedicated to improving agricultural productivity. Women have access to less than 20% of available agricultural resources a serious impediment to their maximizing agricultural production.

18.      Just like women’s invisible work in the household, women’s efforts in nation building and conflict prevention and resolution, which has significant human implications are often not noticed. Women peace-making efforts are globally recognized since the outbreak of violence and wars at the end of cold war. Women have made significant efforts towards nation building through promotion of peace and social interactions.

FACTORS INHIBITING FULL PARTICIPATION OF WOMEN IN NATION BUILDING.

19.      According to Umezulike (2006), the history of emancipation of woman is as old as man himself worldwide. Nigeria is a highly patriarchal society, where men dominate all spheres of human lives. Women’s progress and level of achievement are hampered by the debilitating yoke of patriarchal structures, systems, myths, taboos, beliefs, mind-sets practices and attitudes women are in a subordinate position (particularly at the community and household levels), and male children are preferred over the female (Federal Republic of Nigeria ,2006).

20.      The influence of the mother and father is particularly significant in shaping and perpetrating patriarchy. The mother proves the role model for daughters, while the father demonstrates to sons what it means to” be a man” (World Bank, 2005). As in other male dominated societies, the social relations and activities of Nigerian women and men are governed by patriarchal systems of socialization and cultural which favour the interest of men above those of women. Consequently, a high percentage of women’s employment is restricted to low income- generating activities, concentrated within the lower levels of the unregulated, informal sector, which are not adequately represented in the National Accounting System (NAS).

21.      For instance, women engage themselves in income generating activities of various types such as processing of palm-oil and garri, soap making, weaving, sewing, tie and dye, basket weaving, batik and printing and pottery.

22.      Akubue and Eegbe (2012) observed that African women carry significant proportions of the work-load in food crop production, animal husbandry, food processing and distribution. They combine all these with their traditional role of procreation and home management. By comparison, men employed within the informal sector are located in the upper levels and are predominantly engaged in higher income generative activities. They need to support initiatives that ensure financial independence for women is very essential for their contribution towards national development.

23.      Despite general commitment to the principle of non-discrimination as enshrined in section 2 of the 1999 constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Nigeria falls short of the desired result of giving males and females equal opportunities to advance socially, physically, educationally, politically and economically. Evidences abound that several negative aspects of gender relations, such as gender based division of labour, disparities between males and females access to power and resources, and gender biases in rights and entitlements, remain pervasive in Nigeria.

24.      By the Nigerian constitution, civil and political rights (chapter 4 of the 1999 constitution) are actionable in a court of law whilst economic, social and cultural rights (chapter 2 of the 1999 constitution) are not. Section 43 permits both male and female Nigerians to own and acquire movable and immovable property. Inspite of this, a large proportion of women in Nigeria are barred from owning land by customary laws of inheritance.

25.      Gender-based violence has become a major issue in recent times. It reflects the extent to which women’s human right are threatened thereby leading to the noiselessness of women in many issues concerning and affecting their lives. Violence against women, particularly domestic violence and rape, is widespread which has increased the vulnerability of women to HIV/AIDS. In Nigeria, harmful traditional practices meant to control women’s sexuality have led to great sufferings. Notable among them is the practice of female genital mutilation, which is a violation of basic rights and a major lifelong risk to women’s health.

26.       Another major violence against women is the insalubrious attitude of wife-beating and women trafficking. The underlying force behind this behaviour is the wrong believe that women are inferior and are supposed to be treated as second class citizens in the society. Violence against woman is a great pointer to men’s total disconnect from nature and prevailing social, cultural, attitudes, tied to men’s status and societal values.

27.      All these practices serve as impediment to women’s contribution to national development. At this point what is primary to women are battle for existence, acceptability and survival.

28.      Women’s numerical strength in the population is not reflected in the political life and decision-making processes and structures of the nation. They are inadequately represented among the three arms of government; the executive, legislative and the judiciary, including as Vice Chancellors in the Nigerian Universities. In fact, it is now difficult for women to occupy elective position in Nigeria.

8

STRATEGIES TO BE ADOPTED TO ENSURE WOMEN PARTICIPATION IN NATION BUILDING. 

“Our mothers struggled from day one at the United Nations to ensure, there was a space where women’s voices could be heard. And over the years women have struggled to ensure that space would expand”.

(Images of the Nigerian Women, 1998).

he above statement summarises the strategies adopted to ensure women participation in Nation Building. And indeed, the United Nations (UN) offers a global platform for women’s voices to be heard on several issues that confront them. The United Nations Charter preamble reaffirms” faith in fundamental human rights in the equal rights of men and women” women delegates demand special attention for women’s concerns at the first UN General Assembly in San Francisco.

2.         The Economic and Social Council (ECOSCO) establishes a sub-commission (to the Commission on human rights) on the status of women. The first meeting of the sub commission votes unanimously that a full commission on the status of women is needed. A branch for the advancement of women is set up in the department of international Economic and Social Affairs.

3.         Article 2 of the Universal declaration of Human Rights and freedom set forth in the declaration without distinction of any kind. The UN General Assembly recognizes that women are “subject to ancient laws, customs, and calls on governments to abolish them. The General Assembly noted the continued discrimination and calls for a draft declaration on the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women”.

4.         These were some of the efforts made at international level to promote the role of women in nation building. Nigeria as a member of the United Nations signed and ratified the various relevant international instruments, treaties and conventions without reservation but they are devoid of implementation.

5.         These instruments have always emphasized that member nations put in place all the necessary mechanism needed to eliminate gender discriminations, ensure equality to all, men and women. In order to eliminate such barriers that inhibit women from contributing to nation building, national policy on women was created and later replaced with the National Gender Policy.

6.          Various past and present governments have demonstrated strong political will in advancing the course of women. Ministry of women Affairs and social Development was created at the Federation, yet they lack working power.

7.         The mission of the Federal Ministry of women Affairs and social Development is to serve as the national vehicle to bring about speedy and healthy development processes and ensure the survival, protection, development and participation of all girls in preparation for meaningful adulthood life (Federal Republic of Nigeria, 2006).

8.         Women in politics: full involvement of women in politics is one of the strategies to be adopted. It is one strategy of defending and promoting women’s interest in the society. It is true that political party expressions of interest and nomination form are expensive. Some other political parties gave it out at no cost to women just to encourage them to participate in politics in turn they will impact and move the nation for ward.

9.         According to Umezulike (2006) Nigerian women have indeed come a long way from their pre-independence and post-independence position to their present status in national building. In essence, she argued that if women are given chance to exhibit their innate tendency to contribute fully to nation building, Nigerian development would be on a fast positive lane.

Conclusion

10.        Globally, women have played important roles in nation building. Throughout history. Women have contributed immensely to making their society. Despite the principle of non-discrimination against women as enshrined in the section 2 of the 1999 constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

11.         Nigeria falls short of the desired result of giving males and female equal opportunities to advance socially, physically, educationally, politically and economically. Despite the various odds and barriers against women they are the green and rosy lilies that brighten and build any nation if allowed to prove and exhibit their worth in Nigeria.

Recommendations

Based on the submission above, the following recommendations were made.

12.        Women should be equipped with appropriate knowledge and skills to enable them provide better guidance for their children and families through appropriate education and training. This will develop the competence that will make them contribute maximally to nation building.

13.        Women should be encouraged and supported to show case their innate potentials in national building.

References

Aliwa, J. (2016). Women Education: A prelude to women Empowerment and      sustainable Development in Nigeria proceedings of the 31^st congress of the      Nigerian Academy of Education 2016

Akubue, N. & Ezegb, B (2012) An Appraisal  of the status of Nigerian Women:    Educational implication and National Development. Retrieved from http://article.sapub.org.

Apostle Peter Odoemena- The son of Man (nd). Family and Child Training          (Nuggets.). Onitsha: Bride of Christ Ministry Worldwide

Ezeilo, J. (2006).Legislative advocacy for Women’s Human Rights. Enugu.          Women’s Aid Collective.

Ezeilo, J. (2006). National Policy on Women. Enugu, Women Aid Collective.         http://medium.com/themission/50-womenheroes-who-changedtheworld.Retrievedon9/ 10/1811:5am

Fastread (2015) Essay on the role of women in Nation Building. Retrieved from         http://www.fastread.in/explore/?infoll-103.

Federal Republic of Nigeria (2006) National Gender Policy. Abuja,  ederal Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development.

Gambari, I. (2018). The challenges of Nation Building: The case of  Nigeria.        Retrieved From http://www.mafng.org.on21/10/18. Global Citizen.    Women who changed the course of Human History.  Retrieved from        http://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/women-who-changedon20/10/18.

Mbara K., Anuruwo, A, Alatere M, (2015) promoting women empowerment         through Entrepreneurship Education in Nigeria. Journal of Nigerian    National Council For Adult Education. Vol. 20.1, 190-200,  

2015.

Nwankwo, O. (2005) Human Rights of women. Nigeria. Civil Resources    Developmentand Documentation Centre. http://www.globalcitizen.org/en/constant/womenwhochangedthecourseofhu        manhistory

Okukpon,L. (2005) Non-formal Education Opportunities for women in Edo State; contribution towards poverty Alleviation. An unpublished Ph.D. Thesis University of Lagos, Nigeria.50 Women Heroes who changed the world: The stories of women who made us      three Bigger. Retrieved from https://medium.com/mission/50women-         heroes-who-Changed on 22/10/18.

Umezulike, N. A. (2006) Re-packaging Women Education for National      DevelopmentJournal of Quantitative Education. Vol.2. No. 4 May, 2006

Umezulike, N.A. (2006). Land Marks in women Education. Enugu: Hipuks  Additional Press.

SECTION  FIVE

HUMAN NUTRITION AND ITS EFFECT ON HUMAN HEALTH

BY

 SIS ELIZABETH IJEOMA CHUKWUEMEKA (PH.D)

9

NUTRITION

utrition is the science of food nutrients and substances therein, their action, interaction and balance in relation to health and diseases (FAO, 2013). It is the process by which an organism ingests digests, absorbs, utilizes and excretes food substances. This is summarized as catabolism and anabolism which is referred together as metabolism (breaking down of food substances into absorbable and assimilative stage).

2.           Human nutrition is a science of food nutrients and substances therein, their actions, interactions and balance in relation to health and diseases (Nnam, 2011). Human nutrition cannot be effective without nutrients. Nutrients are essential dietary factors or substances in food that provide nourishment for the maintenance of life. The absence of nutrients in human diet has been epidemiologically-demonstrated to be associated with the development of poor health; nutrients directly influence genetic expression (WHO, 2013).

3.            There are seven classes of food nutrients, these are: Carbohydrate, Dietary fiber, Proteins, Fats, Minerals, Vitamins and Water. These nutrient classes are categorized as macro (those nutrients that are needed in large quantity that is, in grams in the diet such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, dietary fiber and water) and micro (those nutrients required in smaller quantities in milligram in the diet.eg vitamins and minerals) (carpenter and Harper, 2006).

CARBOHYDRATE:

4.           This contains some elements, carbon and hydrogen which are separated into simpler substances by chemical processes (e.g. when carbohydrate food is broken down into glucose). The energy from them is used for cellular metabolism. The major food sources of carbohydrates are cereal grains (sorghum, rice, corn, sorghum, millet etc). Roots and tubers e.g. (yam, cocoyam, cassava, potatoes etc. legumes: pulses (cowpea, pigeon pea, African yam bean etc) there is also starchy fruits such as (plantain, banana).

5.           IMPORTANCE OF CARBOHYDRATES TO HUMAN

·         Carbohydrates are readily available fuel for all cells in form of blood glucose and stored in the liver and muscle as glycogen. Liver glycogen stores are used up within 18 hours of non carbohydrate nutrient intake (Kelim, 2006).

·         An adequate carbohydrate intake food is necessary for complete metabolism of fats to form carbon dioxide and water in the body. A low carbohydrate intake leads to the release of a hormone known as insulin into the blood stream, this leads to the release of large amount of fatty acids from the adipose cells.

·         The continue denial of carbohydrate nutrient in the brain and other organs such as the heart will force the ketone bodies to produce glucose from protein to support the brain energy needs. This breaks down the muscles, hearts and other organs of the body thereby limiting the body’s ability to tolerate carbohydrate starvation.

DIETARY FIBER:

6.           This is a form of carbohydrate that is incompletely absorbed in humans. The one that is absorbed produces four calories and kilocalories of energy per gram. In most cases, it accounts for less than that because of its limited absorption and digestibility. The two sub categories are soluble and insoluble fiber.

7.             Insoluble dietary fiber is cellulose that is indigestible by humans and it adds bulk to the faeces and makes bowel movement easier because the stool will be large and soft in that plant fibers attract water. Whole grains, leaf vegetables, legumes and fruits are excellent sources of fiber.

8.           IMORTANCE OF DIETARY FIBER

·         They aid digestion and elimination of solid wastes in the body.

·         Absence of it leads to pressure in the walls of the large intestine which pop out from between the surrounding bands of muscle and in effect leads to hemorrhoids.

·          Fiber foods also aids weight control and reduce the risk of obesity.

·         The bulky nature of fiber foods filled an individual without yielding much energy

·         It is very important to increase fiber intake using fiber-rich foods, soluble fiber is used to control and reduce blood glucose in patient with diabetes mellitus (DM) and to lower blood cholesterol (Nabro, 2013).

PROTEINS:

9.           This contains nitrogen, carbon, hydrogen and oxygen. Some contain sulphur while a few contain phosphorus or other elements such as iron, zinc and copper. Proteins are of two types first class and second class proteins. All animal foods such as meat, fish, egg, milk etc are sources of fist class protein while plant foods, legumes and nuts are for second class protein. 

10.        IMPORTANCE OF PROTEINS TO HUMAN

·         They are the basis of many animal body structures e.g. muscles, skin and hair.

·          The body requires amino acid to produce new tissues and to replace damaged ones.

·          It helps in the body functions like blood clothing, fluid balance, hormone, enzyme production processes, cell repair and specific protein needed by individuals. If an individual fails to consume an adequate amount of Protein needed by the body for weeks, many metabolic processes will slow down because they furnish amino acids.

·         The immune system may no longer function efficiently when it lacks proteins thereby increasing the risks of infection, disease and eventual death.

FATS:

11.        They are classified as saturated and unsaturated depending on the fatty acid (the breakdown of fat that is absorbed into the blood). Fats are the concentrated source of energy and are essential for the absorption of fat soluble vitamins. Sources are from palm oil, vegetable oils, oil seeds (groundnut, soybeans etc) unsaturated fats are butter, lard etc while saturated ones are liquid fats e.g. olive oil etc.

12.        IMPORTANCE OF FAT TO HUMANS

Humans need very little fat intake. About 5% of total energy intake is from plant foods and they are necessary to meet the adequate intake of essential fatty acids. Eating fish at least twice a week to supply omega-3 fatty acids is essential.

13.        VITAMINS:  This is essential organic substances that contain (carbon and hydrogen) needed in small amounts in the diet for the normal functioning of growth and maintenance of body tissues. Some vitamins provide energy and some facilitate in energy yielding chemical reactions. They are of two types: fat soluble e.g. D, E and K that can dissolve in organic solvent and water soluble this can dissolve in water e.g. B and vitamin C. They are indispensable in human diet because they cannot be synthesized enough to meet individual needs.

14.        VITAMIN A: Is important for maintaining vision and epithelial tissues, for reproduction and proper functioning of immune system. A diet that is considered rich in Vitamin A must contain enough fruits and leafy vegetables.

15.        VITAMIN D: This is a vital vitamin needed to be supplied from food, when one fails to get it from sunlight. Fish oil and fortified milk are good sources of Vitamin D. Excesses of it posses toxic threat especially in infants.

16.        VITAMIN E: They minimize formation of free radicals and other oxidative components. They function as an antioxidant by oxidizing electrons (reducing electrons) to free radicals (molecules that are short lived). It helps prevent oxidative damage, especially cell membranes. Best source of vitamin E is plant oil. Excess consumption of vitamin E as supplement reduces blood clothing which in most cases leads to hemorrhage.

17.        VITAMIN K: This is essential for blood clothing. About 10% of vitamin K absorbed every day comes from bacterial synthesis in the intestines, but some comes from the diet. Deficiency may come through excretion.

18.        THIMAIN, NIACIN and RIBOFLAVIN: They function in various biochemical path ways for the metabolism of glucose, amino acid and fatty acids. Pork meat is excellent sources of thiamin, milk is for riboflavin and protein foods are excellent sources of niacin. Deficiencies of all three vitamins can occur with excess alcoholism intake (WHO, 2013). Deficiency symptoms of these vitamins occur typically in the brain, system and gastro intestinal tract.

19.        PENTATONIC ACID AND BIOTIN: are water soluble vitamins that participate in metabolism of carbohydrate, protein and Fat. Both are important for protein metabolism and neurotransmitter synthesis (that is, had other metabolic functions).

20.        FOLATE: is a vitamin that is found in dark green vegetables and meat as among its best sources. It has the same deficiency sign with B-12. It is needed for cell division. Vitamin B-12 and foliate work together. Without it, foliate deficiency symptoms will develop rapidly moreover, B-12 is necessary for the maintenance of nervous system and paralysis can develop from Vitamin B-12 deficiency. 

21.        VITAMINE C OR ASCORBIC ACID: This is found in much process in the human body especially as elector donor (reducing agent) (Wright, 2003). Deficiency causes scurvy which is marked by many changes in the skin and gums, such as small hemorrhages because of reduced collagen synthesis. Vitamin C also moderately improves iron absorption and is involved in the synthesis of certain hormones. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits, green peppers, cauliflower. Fresh or light cooked leaf vegetable foods are good sources of Vitamin C. It’s lost in cooking can be high over dose of Vitamin C can lead to diarrhea and gastric intestinal tract problem.

22.        WATER: This is most abundant constituent of the human body accounting for about 70-80% of the body. Weight 50-60% exists in soft tissues while about 20% is found in bones. Water is the basic for all chemical processes and is involved in such activities as the maintenance of acid base balance, body fluid, digestion of food, regulation of body temperature, excretion of toxic waste from the body and transportation of food nutrients to body cells. Water distributes itself throughout the body among lean and other tissues (both intercellular and extracellular tissues), in urine and other body fluids.

23.        Adequate intake for total 120 a day is (11cups) for women and   (15cups) for men (WHO, 2017). The body’s first sign of dehydration is thirst. Foods generally contain reasonable quantities of water except some like sugar, salt and cooking oils.

24.        MINERALS: These are inorganic elements that are essential for the normal functioning of the body. They are divided into two macro and micro. A mineral that is required more than 100mg (1/50 of teaspoon) or more per day is a major mineral or trace mineral e.g. calcium and phosphorus while iron and zinc are trace or micro mineral (WHO, 2017) mineral are  vital for many body processes.

25.        SODIUM: This is the major positive ion in the intracellular fluid, it is important for maintaining fluid balance and conducting nerve impulses. Sodium depredation is unlikely because adequate intake of sodium is 1500mg\day. Hypertension can occur especially in adults because of high sodium diets. Sodium is provided predominately through processed and restaurant foods.

26.        POTASSIUM: Performs functions similar to those of sodium. It is vital for fluid balance and nerve transmission. A potassium deficiency caused by inadequate intake of potassium persists vomiting and this leads to loss of appetite, muscle cramps, confusion and irregular heart beat. Fruits and vegetables are general good sources of potassium.

27.        ADEQUATE NUTRITION: Adequate nutrition is attained when an individual has adequate intake of food. This can be achieved through the use of food guide pyramid in meal planning. The beauty of the food guide pyramid is that the proportion of each food group is represented by the position of the food group in the pyramid. The key word is variety, proportionality and moderation. Variety is ensured by selecting foods in adequate proportion from each of the food group. This will help in making healthy food choice and combination which should be taken in moderation.

NUTRITION AND HEALTH

(WHO 2013) defined health as a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. Adequate nutrition is essential for good health. This is because inadequate nutrition leads to malnutrition as either under or over-nutrition. They both negatively affect the physical, mental and social well-being of an individual. Protein energy malnutrion (PEM) presents a broad array of clinical conditions. PEM weakens the immune system of children and reduces their ability to fight infection and diseases.

28.        A child suffering from kwashiorkor has poor mental and social well-being. The child experiences poor brain development and mental retardation as a result of inadequate intake and utilization of nutrients.

29.        Micronutrient malnutrition or hidden hunger has an important impact on health. Iodine deficiency manifests as goiter, which causes serious health problems. (WHO,2013)  indicates  that 3% of babies born to iodine deficient women suffer from cretinism and present severe mental and physical retardation, 10 % suffer from moderate to severe mental retardation and the remaining 87% suffer from some form of mental impairment. Deficiencies of the antioxidant nutrients (selenium, vitamins A, C, E and the B-complex vitamins) increase oxidative stress and accumulation of toxic substances in the body and thus, the individual is susceptible to diet-related non-communicable diseases.

30.         Over-nutrition precipitates obesity and other diet-related non communicable diseases like coronary heart disease, diabetes and hypertension while adequate nutrition could lower the incidence. Consumption of an adequate diet (meal that contains all the nutrients and food substances in proper quantity and proportion to one another) could reduce the occurrence of nutrition-related chronic diseases like coronary heart diseases (CHD). It is important that individuals consume nutritionally adequate diet to be in a state of optimal nutrition and good health.

NUTRITIONAL REQUIRMENTS OF DIFFERENT AGE GROUPS

31.        INFANTS (0-6 months): During the first year of life, good nutrition is essential to healthy growth and development. For infants to grow appropriately they need adequate calories, protein, and essential nutrients. Exclusive breastfeeding (which can be explained as feeding a baby right from birth till 6 months of life with only the breast milk from the mother) is required for the health of infants at that age (WHO, 2013). The benefits of exclusive breastfeeding for a growing baby include;

·                     Breast milk is the perfect food for a baby because it contains more than 200 nutrients plus special factors to improve a child’s immune system and it is always in sufficient quantity to satisfy the baby

·                     The composition of breast milk changes overtime to meet the baby’s changing needs as the baby grows and develops

·                     Breastfed babies have fewer infections, diarrhea, and constipation due to colostrums (the milk produced in the first few days after birth which is extremely rich in antibodies)

·                     Breastfeeding helps you connect emotionally with your infant

·                     Breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight later in life

·                      Promotes a special relationship with the infant (WHO, 2013).

32.        INFANTS: (6-12 months): At 6 months of a child’s age, only breast milk no longer becomes sufficient to meet the nutritional and dietary needs of the child hence the introduction to “Complementary feeding” which can be defined as the process starting when breast milk alone is no longer sufficient to meet the nutritional requirements of infants and therefore other foods and liquids are needed, along with breast milk (WHO, 2018). Complementary feeding should be timely (meaning that all infants should start receiving foods and fluids in addition to breast milk from 6 months onward). It should be adequate (meaning that the complementary foods should be given in amounts, frequency, consistency and using a variety of foods to meet the nutritional needs of a growing child while still breastfeeding) (WHO, 2017).

33.        TODDLERS: (2-3): Growth slows somewhat during the toddler years, but nutrition is still a top priority. Depending on their age, size and activity level, toddlers need about 1,000-1,400 calories a day. During the first two years of life, a child’s brain starts developing rapidly (UNICEF, 2017). Children who do not receive proper nutrients and nourishment during this crucial period can suffer cognitive problems including slower language, lower I.Q and poorer school performance. There carbohydrate source include bread, cereal, pasta/noodles etc, protein source include beans, eggs, fish, meat, soy beans etc. Their diet should also include fruit and vegetables (Joseph, 2018).

34.        SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN (4-9): The essential nutrients for optimal health are:

Energy: (carbohydrate and fats) provide energy for growth and physical activity. Sources include cereals, bread, and pasta/noodles etc.

Protein: builds, maintains and repairs body tissue. Good sources of protein include meat, fish, poultry, milk and other dairy products.

Calcium: is important in building strong bones and teeth. Milk, dairy products and some dark green leafy vegetables are good sources of calcium. Iron: it helps to rapidly expand blood volume during growth. Meat, fish, poultry, enriched bread and cereals are the best sources of dietary iron (Westenhoefer, 2001).

35.        ADOLESCENT (10-19): In adolescence, a second period of rapid growth may serve as a window of opportunity for compensating for early childhood growth failure, although the potential for significant catch-up is limited. This adolescent growth spurt is also associated with cognitive, emotional and hormonal changes.

36.        The difference in body composition has important implications for nutritional needs of male and female adolescents. Nutrition during adolescence should meet the following objectives: provide the necessary nutrients to meet the demands of physical/cognitive growth and development prevent adult onset of diseases related to nutrition e.g. cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, osteoporosis and cancer and encourage healthy eating habits and lifestyle (WHO, 2005).

ADULTS:

PREGNANT and LACTATING WOMEN: Most pregnant women need daily caloric intake of 2,200 to 2,900 calories which vary by their BMI, age and activity.

MEN: They generally require 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day to maintain healthy weights. They need 18 calories per pound if they are very active, 16 calorie per pound if they are moderately active and 13 calorie per pound if they are sedentary (Coleman, 2017).

AGED: There nutritional requirements are vitamin A and the tolerable upper limit intake is 3,000 mcg per day. Riboflavin functions as a coenzyme in numerous redox reactions and in energy production. Daily requirements are 1.3 mg in men and 1.1 mg in women. They also require fluids, vitamins (B6, B12, D, E, C, and K), protein, minerals (calcium, zinc, iron) and carbohydrates (Skully, 2014).

37.        THE BENEFITS OF GOOD NUTRITION

Eating a proper, nutritious diet offers numerous health benefits that can ensure your well being physically, mentally and socially. Some of the benefits of good nutrition include;

·                     Adequate food consumption: In addition to nutrients, food contains combinations of other substances, most of which  are abound in plants. A healthy diet must therefore contain a large variety of the plant foods. Plant foods contain many biologically active components for good health.

·                     Maintaining body weight between the recommended limits (a BMI of 20–25): Healthy weight maintenance is achieved by choosing a nutritious diet enriched by daily physical activity. To maintain a healthy weight, people need to balance the amount of energy eaten with the amount of energy expended.

·                     Keeping healthy: You can live a healthy life by eating good food and this can help in the proper maintenance of the body’s major organs for example; the heart, diets low in sodium, cholesterol and fats can lower the risk of heart disease. Diseases associated with the brain like hypertension, Alzheimer’s disease can be prevented by proper nutrition.

·         Recovery of sick patient: Nutrition helps people in hospitals who are sick to regain their health quicker and faster. The nutrients contained in the food help the body to start recuperating.

·         Weight loss: To prevent weight gain in overweight and obese patient, it is recommended that caloric input in a day should not be greater than caloric output rather it should be balanced. Healthy and nutrient-dense foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins typically contain fewer calories than sodas, sweets and fast foods (Styles, 2018).

38.        CONCLUSION

Adequate Nutrition is essential for good health. Our environment is Nutrition friendly. We have rich biodiversity of food crops with promising nutritional potentials for addressing the problem of poor Nutrition that leads to poor health, terminal diseases and death.

REFERENCES

Ben-Joseph MD, (2018) Nutrition guide for toddlers; Journal on kids health (advices, diagnosis and treatment) pp 9-11

Carpenter, kj, Harper AE; (2006) Evolution of knowledge of the essential nutrients, in shill ME modern nutrients in health and disease, 10thed Philadelphia PA Lippin cott Williams and Wilkins.

Erin Coleman R.D, (2017) Daily nutritional requirement for men; Journal for men’s health and fitness, Livestrong foundation, pp4-7

FAO (2013), Guldelines for measuring homehold and individual dietary diversity. Nutrition and Consumer Protection Division, Food and Agricultural Organization of the United Nation.

Nabro D. (2013) Global child and maternal nutrition sunrises. The Lanict 8382. WHO (2013) Essential Nutrition Action: Improneny material, new born, infant and young child nutrition World Health Organization Washington, DC.

Robert Skully, ( 2014) Essential nutrient requirement of the elderly; department of family Grant Medical Centre, OhioHealth, Columbus, OH, USA pp 59-68

Serena Styles, ( 2018) Benefits of healthy eating, MayoClinic.com: Obesity pp 2-4

Westenhoefer J. Establishing good dietary habits-capturing the minds of children. Public health Nutrition 2001, 4(1A):125-129

World Health Organization (2013), Nutrient adequacy of exclusive breast feeding for the term infant during the first six months of life.

World Health Organization (2018), Appropriate complementary feeding, guiding principles for complementary feeding of the breastfed child

World Health Organization (2013), World health statistics general.

World Health Organization (2017), Global strategy for infant and young child feeding.

 World Health Organization (2005), The management of nutrition in major emergencies, Geneva; (http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2000/9241545208.pdf, accessed 30 May 2005).

Wright, ID (2003), Dietry intake of ben key nutrients for public health United States; 1999-2000 Advance Aata 334:1, (April 17).